EFT Training January 2018!

Posted on December 28, 2017 by Annie

EFT Training in London

EFT – Emotional Freedom Technique – or Tapping as it’s also known – is a wonderful tool for releasing trauma, reducing anxiety and relieving pain. EFT offers HSPs a simple and effective way of managing and minimizing acute stress factors – and of reducing the risk of chronic stress and discomfort.

In mid January Pearl Lopian will be in the UK and running this Level 1 EFT Training  – the first steps to becoming an EFT Practitioner – in North West London.

Pearl trained under Gwyneth Moss up in Ilkley and will be bringing her wisdom, knowledge and experience to us down here in London.

The course runs for 12 hours in total – at the moment it’s spread over 3 sessions – 2 evenings and a Sunday – as per the details on the flyer.

Please note that it may be possible to conduct that final 3 hour session online via zoom, which would cut out travel time.

I will there to welcome you and learn with you. If you have any questions, contact me on annie@anniewigman.com and I will do my best to answer.

The course fee for this training is £150 payable to Pearl via Paypal or bank transfer – please contact Pearl at Plopian@gmail.com to arrange or to ask any further questions.

Thanks and look forward to seeing you in the New Year for the EFT Level 1 Training – top level self-care – Happy New Year!

© Annie Wigman

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Loving your highly sensitive life?

Posted on September 26, 2017 by Annie

What does it take to love your highly sensitive life?

Discovering that you’re an HSP – a Highly Sensitive Person with SPS (Sensory Processing Sensitivity to give it its scientific name) is the beginning of quite a journey.

I say beginning because you’ve been on a “blind” journey for all your life – wondering why you react to things the way you do. Why you seem – you have seemed – “different” to the embedded social and cultural norms you’ve seen around you.

With the knowledge that you’re an HSP (take the Self Test here if your’e not yet sure) you have a context in which to place and understand the feelings and reactions you’ve had, the choices you’ve made, the decisions you’ve taken – which other people often haven’t approved of. They criticize and chide and disapprove. Because they don’t understand.

They simply don’t have the experiences that you do – or they do but not to such a level that it bothers them or interferes with their everyday lives. And they worry for you. And that makes you feel worse right?

So here you are on this journey of discovery. Elated and delighted that you have all this new insight and understanding. You feel relieved. You read Elaine Aron’s book The Highly Sensitive Person and discover that you are, actually, perfectly normal. You share HSP/SPS with 20 per cent of the population. You are not alone. You are not singularly sensitive. And your sensitivity offers up so many positive attributes also. What a relief ….

What a high! And then comes the dip – because you do still feel different to the majority. You find you tire more easily than most. You do struggle with environments filled with noise and bright lights. You might be highly introverted. You might be extroverted and high sensation seeking and also be highly sensitive. And people often assume that extroversion and sensitivity are opposites. Nope. Not necessarily!

The workplace can seem a nightmare – you may be majorly overwhelmed by the pressures to multi-task and juggle a high-pressure workload, to always be engaged and present, to always be sociable. You want to be walking by the river, not trapped in the office block. You feel misunderstood and vulnerable. Feel at risk of being passed over or being bullied and victimised.

You know that it’s not healthy to wallow in a quagmire of victimville. You simply want to be understood, and your needs to be respected, honoured and met. Yet it seems like such a big ask.

And then your elation drops back to anxiety. That old familiar state of affairs.

This can be especially so for HSPs who suffered trauma during childhood – and/or who didn’t enjoy the benefits of understanding and supportive parenting from your parents or other adult caregiver. Elaine Aron and other authors of HSP material flag speak to this discrepancy between HSPs who had supportive childhoods and those who didn’t – the former often doing very well in life and succeeding with ease, the latter often falling behind, under-earning in relation to their intelligence, creativity and overall potential, feeling isolated …. perhaps showing signs of co-dependent behaviours and complex post-traumatic stress disorders.

Reading about all this can be both comforting and alarming. Comforting that you are not alone, alarming that it seems to hold you stuck whilst your sensitive sisters and brothers who had better childhoods seem to sail forth into successful, prosperous lives with consummate ease. It doesn’t seem fair, right?

So what can I offer you? What can I suggest?

My main guidance would be to read as much as you can and give yourself time to settle. You may need to re-calibrate your life as you learn.

As often as you can, go for a walk in nature. HSPs love to be in nature. Find some flowers and trees … and bathe in the scent and sensuality. Do a course on mindfulness – a basic introduction of you’ve never done one. Then check out Kristin Neff and Chris Germer on Mindful Self-Compassion see here So much to learn here. Also check out Brene Brown and her TED talks on Vulnerability and Shame and her books also. I’ve been reading Daring Greatly but she has a new book out, Braving the Wilderness. Check her out.

If it’s career you’re wanting more focus on then I’d take a look at Thrive! The Highly Sensitive Person and Career by Tracy M. Cooper.

Look out also for facebook groups for HSPs – or for introverts if you’re highly introverted (or for extroverted high-sensation-seeking HSPs of you’re HSP and HSS), plus meetup groups. There are also groups for Empaths if your naturally high levels of empathy as an HSP are way up there that you identify as an Empath.

You won’t gel with everyone – HSPs are as varied and different as everyone else. There is a huge range of experiences and “symptoms” – some HSPs have lots of allergies and auto-immune conditions, some do not. Some are morning people, some are not. Apparently many are really bothered when they’re hungry and many are sensitive to caffeine. Me not so much.

Some are introverted, some are extroverted. I’m somewhere in the middle – slightly more introverted than extrovert but still sociable. Until I hit my wall and then I need to escape and recover.

What I’ve noticed about myself is that I need contrasts and to be at liberty to move across environments so that when I’ve had my fill of noise and “busyness” I can go somewhere peaceful. And when I’ve recharged, decompressed and finding myself feeling bored and in need of stimulation, I can re-engage with society and the sociable scene. When I’m too hot I can go somewhere cool, when I’m too cold I can go somewhere hot to warm up again 🙂

Yep, I’m a wee bit (ok a way big bit Goldilocks!).  Plus a bit – or a right royal – Princess and the Pea. Oh yes, did I tell you I cannot abide a lumpy mattress or scratchy fabrics … or high humidity or cold and damp … ? Or fluorescent lights or noise that I cannot control? …

I would also suggest learning about HSPs who have successfully integrated and come to terms with their high sensitivity – gone beyond it as their main badge of identity and created and developed a career and lifestyle that makes the most of their potential, that pays them well and honours their needs – and makes a positive contribution to the world. Even if they may have enjoyed a supportive childhood whilst you did not.

And if you are an HSP who has done very well and you’re finding what I’ve written a bit alien or all in the done and dusted, distant past, I’d invite you to explore how you can harness your sensitivity and confidence to make the world a better place for less fortunate HSPs and for society in general.

Yes, sometimes being an HSP can seem like an overwhelming challenge. It can seem like the odds are stacked against you. Like everything in normal life is too anxiety-inducing and overwhelming and you simply want to retreat into your bunker until the rest of the world calms down.

For some HSPs having a wonderful rich inner world may be enough.

If you’re looking  for more, if you’re wanting to make changes I’d suggest scrolling up again to see the resources I’ve mentioned further up. I would add to that consider something like “Tapping” (EFT – Emotional Freedom Technique) to deal with trauma, and consider therapy and/or coaching.

If you’re stuck deep in trauma, you might not be ready for coaching. Or it may be that you could benefit from some coaching alongside some therapy or EFT or EMDR.

With a (large) spoonful of Self -Compassion and Self-Acceptance,
you can learn to Love your HSP Life!

And if you already love your HSP life, congratulations! You might still yearn for more refinement and alignment, creativity, clarity around your values – what matters to you – and align your life choices around that. Coaching can be a great help with that too.

If you would like to experience coaching with a focus on your Wellbeing and a deep understanding of your HSP life, feel free to get in touch at info@anniewigman.com

See me on youtube & facebook: Annie Wigman Coaching, loving your highly sensitive life.

 

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To ‘P’ or not to ‘P’

Posted on July 5, 2017 by Annie

Rest assured, I’m not getting intimate with the workings of your bladder control!

Nope. This kind of Pee is P for Positivity. All singing, all dancing, never a dull moment of Negativity allowed.

How good is this for you? Especially if, like me, you are an HSP (highly sensitive person).

I’ve been thinking about this a lot. Whilst there is still a whole heap of stuff online and in print exhorting us to adopt positive attitudes, positive thinking etc. etc. etc. I’ve also noticed recently the beginnings of a backlash. Or at least a murmuring groundswell of recalibration. A questioning.

Here’s my take. Yes do the Gratitude Journals. Yes, try as much as you can to see the world (the Universe) as benign rather than malign or indifferent – much as that can be a challenge at the moment in the wake of viscous wars, terror attacks, scary world leaders and an utter contempt for the needs of the poor.

But yes, even when times are tough – and perhaps even more so when times are tough and you’re highly sensitive and the troubled times can drag you down – do stick with the gratitude and compassion and love for any beauty that comes your way. It doesn’t have to mean you’re guilty of being gullibly delusional. And it can lift you up. So, please, by all means, do it!

And, at the same time there is also the notion of “what we resist persists”. It’s not healthy to repress your negative emotions. Not healthy to pretend they don’t exist, that they’re not there. If you do that they mostly likely will come back to bite you.  Perhaps in the form of anxiety and depression. Perhaps in the form of physical symptoms and/or auto-immune disorders. Perhaps a combination of all sorts.

So please, by all means appreciate the good vibes. And, equally, accept yourself and allow what is to ‘be’ even when you’re drowning in some so-called ‘bad’ vibes. Don’t judge yourself harshly. Don’t drive yourself nuts worrying about vibrational frequencies or whatever else things like the Law of Attraction might try to tell you. Is just another stick to beat you with.

Sure, if you’re able to come up with a range of perspectives, positive and negative, then focusing only on the negative may drag you further down. But focusing only on the positive might give you a false lift up and then a harder fall from a higher place later on.

Best way, it seems to me, is to acknowledge and accept the negative – allow it, grieve for it – do whatever you need to do to accept it and accept yourself within it – and also turn your focus to the positives and remember what good you have around you and inside you.

 

Where a positive focus surely can help is in supporting you to make the choices and take the actions you need to take to move things forward and closer to where you’re aiming at. Sometimes it takes a leap of faith. Sometimes it takes reaching out for a helping hand – and trusting that you will be okay whatever the hand brings forth.

With only a negative focus you are more likely to stay stuck and chronically risk averse.

With only a positive focus you risk denying that intuitive part of you that notices what other don’t; that awareness of possible danger that Elaine Aron terms the “pause-to-check” system. You don’t want to lose that.

What you may need though is Balance. And Hope. And Acceptance.

So, to ‘P’ or not to ‘P’?    ‘P’ for Permission.

Lots of love

Annie

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HSPs – exploring, understanding, transcending, accepting

Posted on April 6, 2017 by Annie

My mum used to tell me how I would scream if we were walking out and they were digging up the road. I couldn’t stand the intrusive screaming noise of the drill. Similar would happen when the spin cycle came on the washing machine. That noise! So overwhelming.

My dad loved to call me “Fuss-pot Annie”.

My boss, in a job I once did, did a great job of mocking and humiliating me in front of others when I jumped and yelped (a little) after being startled by the static when I touched the photocopier. I was startled by the shock and shocked by her reaction.

None of them understood.

And I didn’t know then what I know now. Now, having had Elaine Aron’s book The Highly Sensitive Person brought to my attention, I recognise myself as an HSP – someone with the innate trait of SPS (Sensory Processing Sensitivity).

What a relief to have learned that I am -that HSPs are normal even if in some way different. That I am – that we are in good company with around 20% of the population.

And it’s not only the human population – apparently at least 100 species have HSPs among them, and all horses have this trait to some degree.

Today in the park I became aware of an incredible dog, a rather large dog, with stunning colouring, standing very still. It had a very special way about it with a gentle, calming presence despite its grandeur. I spoke with his owner and learned that he was a therapy dog, taken two or three times a week to visit and help patients in hospital. A highly sensitive dog. Horses are often used as therapy animals too. HSPs bring a highly nurturing added value.

HSPs anyway have a deep, intuitive and perceptive empathy for others – the struggle is often finding acceptance for the self. Especially if we were misunderstood and not supported in the way we needed when we were children.

So adulthood as an HSP can arrive with a legacy of compromised self-esteem and highly-charged struggle. However HSP children who have appropriate encouragement and support often do better than others in adulthood. So, if you’re the parent of an HSP child, I recommend even more so that you are clued up in how to best support them. It will pay off.

For HSPs who have been scarred, it is possible to transcend the past, heal the old hurts. With education, exploration and learning comes discovery, insight and awareness and the chance to move from that harsh place of self-berating, self-loathing, self-denial, low self-esteem, ambivalent self-acceptance to a gentle and generous space of understanding, compassion, self-acceptance, self-belief, self-confidence, self-value – and more.

So, get learning!

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Surviving and thriving in challenging times

Posted on February 8, 2017 by Annie

The pen is mightier than the sword, so I’ve heard … 

I wonder what is mightier than the screen? Hopefully, our innate, intelligent wisdom of the soul can help us bring the screen and the pen, our eyes and ears, hearts, mouths, microphones, cameras mobile phones and keyboards to good use for the good of the world.

Oooof what crazy times we’re living in – with all the shocks and disappointments and reactive fears running around it can be hard to get a clear enough head to write anything that feels coherent. But here I am – in the midst of it all – breaking through ..

Blending screen and paper with a vid about books, two to read, one to write in. I wanted to introduce you one to draw in – my Daily Doodle too – but that is going to have to wait till another time.

The two to read are:

  • The Four Agreements – A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, by Don Miguel Ruiz  and
  • The Highly Sensitive Person- How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You, by Elaine N. Aron

The Four Agreements is a wonderful wee book of wisdom, written in a very accessible style. If you’re feeling weighed down with struggle and grappling with your relationship with yourself and the wider world, dip your head, heart and soul into The Four Agreements for some insight into how you can relate to it all differently – and more happily and healthily.

If you have ever been called a fuss-pot or a likened to the Princess and The Pea, the I also recommend The Highly Sensitive Person. Elaine Aron writes about the 15-20 per cent of the population whose central nervous systems are more sensitive than the general population. This brings benefits and challenges – the benefits including being highly intuitive and more aware of subtle nuances that other people might miss. The challenges include being highly sensitive to – and needing to take more breaks from – things like noise, bright lights, “busyness”, extreme climates, changes to sleep patterns, lack of sleep…

It can be all to easy to see these features as a bit of a disability in that, on the surface, they don’t fit well with the “pushy”, outgoing cultural demands of the western world.

However, on deeper examination, the HSP’s have much to offer the world if only we can learn to accept, understand and appreciate ourselves better.

The first edition of this book was published way back in 1999 and how I wish I had come across it then. Unfortunately I only heard about it a year or so ago and I have only now just read it. If you recognise yourself if any of the descriptors I’ve noted above, I urge you to read this now – don’t wait!

And just to be clear, I don’t any kind of affiliate fee for recommending these books – it’s purely a matter of resources that I have found helpful and I want to share with you.

The one to write in is a little diary that I use specifically as Gratitude Diary – where I record 3-4 little bullet points every night (okay I do occasionally get distracted and forget – I am human) so let’s say most nights – of things I appreciate /am grateful for.

Could be something as simple as I got a seat on the bus – or one thing got cancelled which made space for something else or I saw a beautiful blue sky, the sun came out – I heard a bird singing a beautiful song, a child smiled – had some gorgeous chocolate, spotted some beautiful and sensuously scented flowers, that thing I need to buy is on offer … Anything that can help to shift a rotten day into something not so bad after all – and an okay day into an excellent one. Nuggets.

The one to draw in is my Daily Doodle – but more on that another time ….

Meanwhile sending you love and best wishes and Permission to be YOU.

ThankYou!

Annie

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The Paradox of Play

Posted on October 5, 2016 by Annie

L084050annwig016What do you think of when you see or hear the word “Play”?

Spontaneous? Carefree? Free-for-all? Imagination? Fantasy? Childhood? Make-it-all-up-as-you-go-along? Chaos? Anarchy? Freedom?

Do you also think about frameworks? Structure? Rules of Engagement? Rules of the group?

There’s an unspoken paradox at the core of play/playfulness – in that it is, at the same time, both “rule-free” and rule-bound.

It hadn’t occurred to me until I started reading up about Play. I am very much attracted to the Freedom side of Play – the side of play playfulness that liberates us from obligations to meet specific targets, outcomes, results imposed on us by external forces, be they img_0820colleagues, family, our boss or simply a biological imperative. I love and crave the freedom to let my mind roam free, indulging my senses, feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin, smelling roses or jasmine, being caressed by beautiful music or a gentle hand. wp_20160329_11_47_45_proFeeling the power of the sea pull the sand between my toes. Taking a brightly coloured pen or pencil and doodling without any particular plan about what is going to emerge. Tweaking a recipe to add flavour and spice. It’s all part of play.

And yet, play does have rules. Especially social play. Even solo play has parameters and criteria by which we can define it as play …. that the player is at liberty to quit at any time, for example, and that the focus is on the activity itself not a specific end result. For more specifics about the elements of play, I suggest a foray into Stuart Brown or Peter Gray. Ah I just love saying Gray on Play!

Social Play, as I was reminded by Gray has rules that need the agreement of all the players. It can incorporate fantasy and have a broomstick be a flying machine – or a horse, or whatever the chooses to have it be. But the fantasy game is only upheld if everyone in the group agrees on the same fantasy.

If someone doesn’t like the rules, they are at liberty to quit and leave but they will only be able to change the rules if everyone else in the group agrees.

In this way, children come across and learn about individual freedom – looking after their own needs and wants – and looking out for and taking care to meet the needs of others. It’s a hugely important part of socialisation.

wp_20150806_11_44_04_proIn the adult world we can face a lot of prejudice against Play. It’s deemed pointless, a waste of time, childish, irresponsible, indulgent, lazy, undisciplined, free-wheeling, coasting, unproductive … oh I could go on but I shan’t…

And yet Play can teach us so much. It relaxes the mind allowing our creativity to flourish. It paves the way for innovation, novel problem-solving. It recharges our batteries allowing for increased, not decreased, productivity overall. It creates and enhances social bonds- great for networking. It gives us the freedom to learn and ‘fail’ without the world crashing down.

Yes, Play provokes Fear and Play invokes Freedom. Play is rule-free and rule-bound. The Great Paradox of Play. I’ll write in more detail on Play another day. For now, I’d love to know …  How will you play today? 

I’d love to hear what you have to say.

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Play Date – Trial and Error

Posted on August 18, 2016 by Annie

Hello!

 

L084050annwig016I thought I had already posted this post on here but it seems to me now that I had not! It was originally penned back in 2008 when the blog was called “Kitten with a ball of string” – but still stands true today. In Praise of Play – Play Date, Trial and Error.

In keeping with the theme of Kitten with a ball of string – I’m wading right in with my very first blog post in playful experimental mode.

Blog? To be honest, just now it feels like I’m groping my way through a pea-souper fog – and yet I’m smiling. There is so much to learn. So much to explore and find out. I’m teetering between overwhelm and unbridled excitement.

How to add my photo? What font do I want? Will I like the text colour I chose? Will the blogger prog publish my text in the colour I chose? Will anybody else care? Will I inspire? Will I be dire? Will I be a blog-post hi-flier or bury myself in a blogging quagmire?

No matter, I’ve decided to play.

ParkPic IIWhat I love about the notion of a kitten with a ball of string is that the kitten learns so much from something so simple. What a much more fun way to learn than being stuck in a school classroom all day! – Ah, apols to any parents trying to cajole their kids into loving school – I have no wish to cause you any troubles – but come on, admit it – the kitten does seem to have the edge in the fun department….    And it learns without learning being a burdensome bag of hard work. Kitty plays, kitty messes up, kitty tries again, kitty gets closer, kitty learns, kitty wins…

That’s the kind of learning I like. That’s the kind of living I like. Fun. Playful. Carefree. Sparkling. Getting the serious stuff done while having it feel like sailing on a joyous magic carpet ride.

ParkPic IWhat do you believe about learning? About life? About creativity? About productivity?

Must playfulness cease the minute you become a grown-up?

An adult’s lot is to be serious, work hard, nose-to-the-grindstone. Discuss …

An adult has the right to be creative, to experiment, to explore, to discover, to produce. And the right to individuation, self-expression, art, play, passion, compassion and bright-eyed sparkle. Sparkle versus grindstone. Compare and contrast!

I didn’t know exactly what I was going to write before I wrote this. I could have spent hours trying to craft the perfect blog post. But I didn’t. I just got right there and started writing – chasing the words and ideas like they were multi-coloured balls of string (or wool). I dipped my paws in! I skitted around. I played, I wrote, I’m posting.

Kitten with a ball of string – U Sparkle!

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Where do you feel at home?

Posted on March 22, 2016 by Annie

IMG-20151022-WA0001WP_20160320_15_05_05_ProIt’s spring time in Tel Aviv and the wild flowers are in bloom. The blistering sun has begun to show us what it’s made of but has not yet parched the land dry. The grass is still green. Beauty in bright colour offsets the the White City buildings, the coastal cliffs and the clear blue sky. No matter if the building is boxy or curved, white or a dirty, sandy, browny beige, the effect is the same. A luscious sense of spring and renewal. A gentle pulse in a generally throbbing city.

WP_20160320_15_03_11_ProThe sand on the beaches isn’t yet too hot to touch and can caress blissed out bare feet. No giant ants yet either nor jellyfish in the sea.

It sounds idyllic. But still this is no easy place to amble on a gentle walk. The pedestrian has to fight for space with pumped up cyclists on electric bikes – who too often do not stick to designated cycle lanes. Then there’s the segway enthusiasts, the skateboarders … the hard clack-clack of the “matkot” players whacking a ball back and forth on wooden paddle bats with determined, agile force.

WP_20160320_15_02_36_ProTel Aviv, this White City Unesco Heritage Site. This beautiful, brash, charming, brusque, bewitching, utterly in-yer-face city. A constant cacophony of combustibility – everyone jockeying for position, wanting to be sure they are not being taken for a ride – whilst knowing that someone somewhere is mostly trying a trick or two….

This place where, if you have the money you can enjoy the best of great food, fashion – so many independent shops by individual designers as well as some global chain store regulars (although probably not at regular prices – imported goods can be expensive here). And if you’re young enough to still want to party all night you can find music and clubs and bars to do so every night.

 

WP_20160320_15_04_14_ProThere is so much potential in this tiny postage stamp of a city by the sea. It buzzes with energy and hormones. Bodies tanned and toned and beautiful. People from all over the world. Running, cycling, stretching, pilates, yoga, dancing, resistance and weights workouts on beachside and parkside gym machines. Bin men and street sweepers at 4 o’clock in the morning. Never stops. Never quiet. Even in a quieter side-street (there are some!) there’s probably building and renovation works going on at all hours. Traffic chaos. Digging the tunnels for the Light Rail … A city and a people always in action, always active, never stops.

WP_20160319_15_19_01_ProSo …. when I describe all of this, how do you feel? What is going on in your soul? In your body? Do you feel energized and alive? Do you feel overwhelmed and wanting to contract and curl up and close down? A bit of both? What strikes you about the effects on you from what I write and the images you see?

 

My point being, where do you feel at home? How clear are you on what kind of environment suits you best? Or to give a bit more flexibility, lets move the “s” and ask what kind of environments suit you best? In your own life, are you in an environment that suits you? Does your environment nourish and respect who you are? Your body rhythms? How sensitive are you to your environment? Very? Not at all?

I invite you to give yourself the gift of time and space to get really clear on this. You are most welcome to add your comments below.

WP_20160320_14_32_41_ProAs for my own take, I would say I’m among the “very sensitive to my environment” camp and there are times when the relentless energy of this place overwhelms me and I have to escape to calmer quarters. I have a sort of love-hate relationship with here – can’t live with it, can’t live without it. And even should I leave it I will always be drawn back. And always love the flowers.

© Annie Wigman

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Who decides what’s right?

Posted on February 5, 2016 by Annie

IMG-20151022-WA0001Decisions, Decisions. Who decides what decision is the right one for us?

People love to help. People love to advise. People love to caution. People love to encourage. People love to criticise. People love to build you up. People love to cut you down. People give you answers that would have you live their lives, fulfill their, as yet, unrealised ambitions. People give you answers that reflect their fears … and the list could go on.

So how, in all this forest of advice can you know what’s right for you? And how can you deal with a change of mind later on when you have the benefit of hindsight and personal experience to call on?

Last time I wrote (in early October 2015) I had just made a huge transition in my life. I had newly emigrated from my homeland – the land of my birth to my other homeland – the land of my people.

WP_20160204_16_43_10_ProOne of the strange paradoxes of winter in Tel Aviv is that of putting on more clothes to wear indoors than outside. Outside could be anything from 17 to 26 degrees (yes even in February) – warmer than many a summer’s day in England.

But indoors, especially on days when the sun doesn’t shine, and at nights when the sun’s gone down, with stone floors, no central heating, no heavy curtains, carpets, no double glazing, old buildings hurriedly thrown up on the 1950s and designed largely with hot summers in mind, and often riddled with damp, indoors in the winter it is FREEZING.

Indoors you may well need sweaters and coats and thick boots and scarves. And hot tea. And you’ll still be cold. And then you go outside and Ooooof need to take that coat off and oh those boots and those cosy socks feel too warm and constricting around your feet. It’s bizarre. It’s all upside down and back-t0-front compared to what you’re used to.

Or, to be more precise, compared to what I am used to.

Because I knew this would be the case (I have been here in winter before) and decided to come here anyway. And I also knew that, despite the sunshine and the sea, this is not always an easy place to live.

For some people this land is the only place they would consider to be their true home. For them the decision is simple. No matter what, despite any and or all hardships, discomforts and challenges and financial or social or cultural constraints that may come their way, living here is their dream, their destiny, their only right decision. They have a certainty, a depth of faith and commitment such that nothing could put them off or make them deviate from this path they have chosen.

Others find it all a bit too much. Family and Finance. In general, whilst incomes here may be generous compared to Eastern Europe, they are low compared to the UK or US and prices are high. Without a partner or family and/or without a significantly well funded bank balance, or the energy and stamina of youthful blag and bravado, life here can be exhausting and start to feel like a challenge too far.

WP_20160204_13_16_57_Pro

WP_20160204_13_17_05_ProWhy am I writing all this? Because I am unsure. I am certain that what I did was brave. Maybe courageous. Maybe foolhardy. But at the time it was the right thing. I had to do it for me, regardless of the people who wished to encourage and the people who wishes to dissuade and deter. And now?

Now maybe I’ve reached another of those fork in the road moments. My decisions, my choices might have consequences that will be logistical nightmares. Temporarily. Or bring financial or social and emotional hardship. Temporarily? Permanently? In service of….?

In service of what? This is one of the key questions to get clear on when making major decisions. Then trust your intuition to help guide you through the maze of decisions large and small.

WP_20160204_17_12_39_ProThe jury is still out on where my future lies. But coming here has been an incredible voyage of discovery and learning about what really matters to me. Where are the boundaries and where is the room for flex.

Becoming clear, being clear and being able to stand in your choices, even if you change your mind are of immense value and will most likely save you from agonies of angst. Your way to clarity on what matters to you, your boundaries and your areas of flexibility may be different to mine.

I would love to hear some ways that you have become more clear on what matters to you and the challenges you have faced along the way. Feel free to let us all know in the comments below.

And be true to you.

 

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Emigrate, Immigrate, Integrate, Grow

Posted on October 13, 2015 by Annie

L084050annwig016On Wednesday night I got into a groove.
On Wednesday night I made a huge move.

On Thursday morning I awoke in a new place.
And now new horizons, new challenges, new pleasure and joy I face.

Yep on Wednesday night, October 7th 2015, after some years of planning and prevaricating and “angsting” and excitement, I emigrated. I left my birthplace of London, UK and came home.

I’m yet to reach my final destination of “by the beach” in Tel Aviv – hope to be there in a few short weeks. Currently installed in a smaller town where my brother lives and relishing being around family – including nephews who are so tall I can barely reach them!

WP_20151011_15_35_56_ProAlmost as high a mountain is the admin and bureaucracy I have to embrace. But slowly, slowly and bit by bit it gets done. With help, of course. My Hebrew language skills are not too bad – better than many who come here – but having my sister-in-law by my side has made a huge difference.

And despite my familiarity with the culture here, there is much acculturation to be done. Although Tel Aviv is a cosmopolitan city, Israel in general is a very different world from the UK. This is the Middle East, where African and Asia come together, under a veneer of Western sophistication and gloss. It’s both a melting pot of magic and a witches brew of combustion. Passion, frustration, love, pain, drama, resentment, mistrust, fear, grief and an all enduring positivity and ‘can do’ stance.

WP_20151011_11_36_31_Pro

WP_20151011_08_41_45_ProEvery step here is a new dance to an old tune and and old familiar dance to a new sound. On Sunday morning I was glancing up at eagles soaring overhead. Today I opened a bank account.

I feel emotional, vulnerable, exposed, afraid, excited, full of anticipation, wonder and awe. I miss my friends in London. I look forward to seeing other friends who live here and making new ones. And the beach … oh the beach …

Taking Permission to be YOU can be found in small changes – tiny nuances of difference in your life. And it can also be found in huge, dramatic large changes. Right now I’m in the midst of both.

And it was evening, and it was morning, and it was good. I’m living through ongoing change. I’d love to hear from you about what changes you’re planning and making. Feel free and invited to let us know in the comments below.

With love and Permission to be YOU

© Annie Wigman

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